Now My Wings Fit

Archive for the category “Writing: Original Fiction”

Je Suis Un Short-Arse

I want a dog I
can ride into battle. Like
a pug, or something


A Mouse, a Phone, and a Flash Drive

Had laptop four years.
Just found third USB port.
I am a big dumb.

(All My Hopes and Dreams Are) Written on the Back of a Beer Mat

I can already see it, faded and worn, in a scrapbook, on a notice board, on a wall somewhere far from here in time and space and whenever he looks at it he gets a little bit happy and a little bit sad, but what’s the point of looking back? You’re still alive. This sentimental bric-a-brac is proof you’ve lived, but you’ve still got living to do. What’s the point of looking back?

The Colour of Her Hair

Summer left, without
my permission. And I did
not even notice.

She Caught Her By the Mouth

Sometimes, when you change the pronouns in
a song, you forget that they’re not the
original pronouns in the song.

How Old Am I?

I dropped my reading
glasses cause I was
trying to sit down
with my walking stick.


Where’s my Blu-Tac? I
mean, it’s really White-Tac, but
you know what I mean.

That Awkward Moment When You’re Trying to Read Someone Else’s Book on the Tube

This is hard, I’m not

wearing my glasses. *squints*. Oh.

It’s not in English.

The Past is Prologue

Dogs’ snouts are
great. They’re like
a nose be-
for their nose.

A pre-nose.

The World’s Greatest Knock-Knock Joke

What do you do when your ankle cracks?

Call it an arsehole.

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