Now My Wings Fit

CWS Exercise: Monologue

This is set at the very end of my Eternal War Trilogy, which I’m currently working on. I have snippets of scenes in my head, I just don’t have all of the bits to string them together. This ending is one that I’ve had in mind for a while, so when we were asked to write a monologue in Creative Writing Society, I took the chance to write this.

WARNING: There is femslash in this story (that means a lesbian relationship).

I got your message. I was almost hoping there wouldn’t be one. Not because of some hope that you were still alive. I have left such foolishness behind me. I did hope, back when you still had breath in your lungs and a light in your eye and a baby in your stomach that you would live. That the arrow hadn’t hit anything important.

I had hoped, back then, that it wouldn’t end like that. Not when we were so close. Not when we were nearly free. It was my fault, I admit. I should have known that they were still after us. I should have known that we would never truly be safe until we were on that boat and the shore had disappeared from sight. I should have killed them when they tried to hurt you before.

My hope ran out when that breath left your lungs; when that light left your eyes; when the heartbeats inside of you ceased forever.

But part of me still hoped that you would have had someone else to leave a message for. I know you lost your dad, and your mum was gone long before then, but… still. Surely you had someone else to speak to other than your dangerous and undeserving wife. I guess, I hoped, that – because I had no one left but you – your would not be in the same situation as me.

Then again, to hear your voice one last time…. It was what I needed. I can leave now – go off to pastures new. After all, I would never be able to stay in this horrible, warring land now that it’s the place where I lost you.

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